Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Alice Walker - Our Continent

"We're learning day by day that the most foreign country is within. " - Alice Walker Per Sarah Ban Breathnach, "We are our own dark continent, we are our own savage frontier. Many marvels await discovery as we continue on the path to authenticity."

Monday, September 22, 2014

Go Seahawks!

The trip last weekend went good aside from a few minor hotel scheduling snafus. We found a park along the way up that provided beauty and a place to stretch our legs. On Sunday the boys had a blast at the game, while the rest of us spent the day swimming and going to the flight museum. We didn't get in until late, so I was a bum on the couch until about 2 pm today. Here are some pics

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Managing Expectation

As I spend my morning Saturday morning preparing for a quick getaway with four kids while on major delay I am learning to manage expectations and my attitude. I am pondering in between wrangling kids my morning reading knowing I am guilty of many behaviors stated. Wish me luck haha.

Galations 5:19-25

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy...But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Rain and Lazy

It is the first day of rain in awhile. I just meandered to the kitchen in my pjs to get my son an applesauce and saw that it was noon. How did that happen? I am usually up and at 'em by 10 with some laundry started, but I think the weather and catching up on baby sleep has left me moving a little slow. I am okay with that.

Last night I went to a beginning of the year booster meeting in a large auditorium with the baby in the front pack. The auditorium was dark and cool, and I found myself periodically fighting sleep during the club bylaw reciting. At one point the leaders expressed their need to the group for more people to join the committee as treasurers or secretaries etc. I started contemplating if I would be an asset, and if my schedule would allow it with four kids 7 and under to which I decided maybe another year. It was interesting when the teachers gave the introductions for the ladies who were currently filling positions as women of so much to do and not a lot of free time. One woman was holding down a full time stressful job while supporting her husband and his stressful job along with two kids actively involved in extracurricular activities all while volunteering as the secretary for the board. Wow that was intimidating. I was lucky that I was able to show up to the meeting on time in order to get my name on the sign in sheet as well as the baby contentedly in the carrier with my butt in a seat. I can't compete with that motivation I had thought! Then, I took a moment in between trying not to drift off to sleep to realize that I don't really care what someone else does with their week because it doesn't make any mother or father more or less adequate or important in life. It's not a measuring stick unless I want it to be and that felt pretty darn good.

As a side note it looks like we are going on a small overnight family vacay this weekend to support my husband's love of professional sports. His team is playing a killer game and so we are going to spend the night before close by in a large hotel room that accomodates 6 people and has some room for us all to sprawl out. Then when him and my son are at the game the rest of us are going to explore a new area. I am excited, and am hoping it will be as relaxing as a vacation with four kids can be. I had planned a reservation for the Hilton due to it being the only available hotel in the area, but after I saw how swanky it was with valet parking and balconies 15 stories up I directed my anxiety to another locale that is a lot more family friendly.

I am new again to the scripture and God seeking journey, and have a long way to go but wanted to share a passage that stood out in my reading this afternoon.

Galatians 3: 8-12

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. But now that you know God-or rather are known by God-how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable principles? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? You are observing special days and months and seasons and years! I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you. I plead with you, brothers, become like me, for I became like you. You have done me no wrong."

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Public Enemy: Public Enemy No. 1

This performance by Public Enemy woke me up from a breastfeeding slumber.  I am getting in lots of late night as of late

Jimmy Fallon, Meghan Trainor & The Roots Sing "All About That Bass" (w/ ...

Here is a Jimmy Fallon segment that I love.  I might be a size 2, but can envy the shake it shake it

Turning a New Leaf - Banishing Riches

The baby is here! Owen was born August 28, 2014 and is an absolute delight to the whole family. He has been spending his time eating, sleeping and pooping. I am enjoying my time on maternity leave and am almost healed from the c-section. School has also started for my kindergartener and 2nd grader. They are loving it and I love that. Here is a pic of me after a long night of feeding haha, and a pic of my little guy:
The post pregnancy hormones have given me the typical crazy highs and lows in regards to mood swings. It is starting to calm down now, but over the last two weeks I have blown up at a dental office after waiting in the car for my husband and the 1/2 hour appt turned into an hour appt with our dead cell phones hindering communication. I have gotten frustrated with perfectly innocent 6 year old gymnasts blocking the hallway with their slow water bottle drinking pace as I am trying to walk past to find my daughter, and I have given up on a grocery store trip alone with my two olders after they proceeded to kick each other in the aisle. This resulted in my daughter wailing at the top of her lungs while clutching her ankle, (she had been the first offender) and the kids putting our only purchase of Lunchables back on the shelf.

The time off during maternity leave and these events have enabled me to have some thinking time and assess my life. My life is pretty good, but I find myself getting caught up in tomorrow and next year and next month. Lately I have been anxious about going back to work when the time comes and have been putting pressure on my husband to make more and do more in order for me not to have to do as much. I have been drawn into facebook and refreshing the news feeds multiple times a day to see what is new in the world of others, while offering my comments off page and in my head to their life and situations. After all I am an expert with no faults to present on social media. All of this came to a head when I went too far and said too much, just to later calm down and look around the ruins of my damage. As I have been self absorbed in the next five events and criticizing why we can't have it today I did not see the hurt I was causing those I love around me. Namely my husband. I was also not living in the moment and taking time to be creative, productive and appreciative.

Change now or be screwed I determined. I have disconnected my facebook account and have mentally banned myself from various sites that cause me to daydream excessively about what could be purchased with no money. This goes for planning dream vacations that we don't know the future for. All of this to only arise when the time is obviously right and the means are there. I also need to admit that I need grace and God in my life because I can't become more grounded on my own. It has been 2 days, and besides the occasional news site or email refreshing I haven't had much to go on the internet for. I am being conscious to not replace one with another. I have also bought a couple of books, some puzzles and games to share with the family. I am not a big game person, but my husband is. My stipulation is that I can have enough time to unwind with a mind numbing tv show before bed. I have also been starting projects that have been on hold like writing on here and sending letters to loved ones.

I might be sharing more anecdotes and pictures on here, reflections of daily observations. I wanted to start with a scripture I stumbled upon that resonated with my current journey.

Proverbs 23:4-5

Do not wear yourself out to get rich, have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle."

Bus stop magic: